Sunday, January 24, 2010

Why Bush did not visit Malaysia

An old joke but funny nevertheless.




In November 2006, President George W Bush is about to visit several Asian
countries including Indonesia and Singapore.

Bush: Well Condi, is there anything you need from Singapore that I can
pick up for you while I am there next month?

Rice: That's very kind of you, Mr President, but no, there's really
nothing I need right now from there. But Laura will certainly enjoy the
shopping there, sir.

Bush: Ah yes, she's been talking about it. Lee's wife has promised to take
her shopping at the newly opened Vivocity.

Rice: I'm sure she'll enjoy a trip to Sentosa too. Especially now, that
the haze from Indonesia has more or less lifted. Talking of which, you're
going to Indonesia too, aren't you sir?

Bush: Yes I am, and while I'm with the Indonesian President, Laura will
visit Acheh and give away a cheque to the tsunami victims.

Rice: How sweet. Would you be dropping by Malai Shia, sir?

Bush: Naw, giving them a miss.

Rice: Don't blame you sir, they have some rough motor cyclists there. Call
themselves "Mad Ram Piss" or something. They think they're the Asian
equivalent of our Knievel. They would certainly scare Laura to death.

Bush: Nah, Laura is made of sterner stuff. But that's not the reason why
we're not going to Malai Shia, Condi.

Rice: Oh. Then it must be their traffic jams. They even have monorails
that run off the tracks and dangle in mid-air. And highway pillars that
crack.

Bush: Really? Incompetent, that's all I can say. But no, that's not the
reason why we're skipping Malai Shia either.

Rice: Oh I know. You don't want to distract the Prime Minister right now,
do you? Heard he's getting some shitty stuff from his predecessor telling
him off like a kid.

Bush: If Clinton did that to me, I'd personally throw him off an F-16. But
no, that's also not the reason why we're skipping Malai Shia.

Rice: Must be the floods then, sir? It's the monsoon season now and it
floods bad after just two hours of rain. Landslides too; bring down houses
but then people there build 4-storey bungalows without approval.

Bush: Naw, the rain wouldn't bother us. That's also not the reason for not
going there.

Rice: I give up. Why are you visiting Indonesia and Singapore, and yet not
go to Malai Shia, Mr President?

Bush: The reason, Dr Rice, is that I don't want their Religious Department
people banging on our hotel room door in the middle of the night,
demanding to see our marriage certificate. Now THAT would scare the hell
out of Laura!

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