Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Bumi of Malaysia

From Heaven to Hell. Rafidah, Shahrizat & Jean Abdullah meet their Creator,GOD on Judgement Day. GOD says 'I understand all of you are from Malaysia, which to the Bumis, is also known as 'heaven-on-earth'. Here too you all shall be treated according to status. You shall meet the who's who of the Malaysian cream of the crop. You can see two giant gates over there. On one is stated Bumi & the other Non-Bumi. Just go to the respective gates & mention your name. BUT remember, should your claim turns out to be false, you shall be condemned to the tortures of hell for all eternity and lose any chance of redemption whatsoever.'

Jean goes over first. She stands outside the Bumi gate and mentions her name. The digital display flashes 'DLL' (dan lain lain = Portuguese Tart) and a ear- piercing alarm rings out. The gate opens to reveal a chamber of raging fire of intense heat. 'Welcome to hell' booms a burly turbaned Sikh as he pulls her in. His name tag reads as Irwan Shah Abdullah@DJ Dave@Sukhdave Singh.

Rafidah & Shahrizat are caught by surprise but smile at each other knowingly. Next goes Shahrizat. She too stands outside the Bumi gate & mentions her name. The digital display screen flashes 'MAMAK' and another ear-piercing alarm triggers. The gate opens to reveal an icy cold chamber way below freezing point.This gate is specially named "The Cowgate" 'Welcome home, I'm Mamoothy', says a sarcastic voice who's name tag reads as Mahathir s/o Mohd Kutty.

Rafidah who is very sure of qualifying, walks over haughtily to the gate which she feels is her birth-right. Just as she mentions her name, the digital display flashes 'INDIAN' .There is a thunderous flash and the gate opens to reveal a pot-bellied figure with a trident in hand & nothing else on except a wig. A familiar voice rings out 'Selamat datang Paduka, Kemaluan saya amat besar, tetapi walaubagaimana pun .......'.He can't go on as he is salivating and panting heavily. She is too shocked for words and turns around in time to hear GOD say just before the gate closes forever 'Your particulars in our record shows your middle name to be AP instead of binti .....' (Rafidah 'AP'Aziz)


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